The real mystery about Jarno Smeets is not whether he can fly like a bird – it’s what he’s trying to flog.
And that’s sad. It’s sad that human inspiration has become a tool to be artificially created and used to market commodities.
It’s sad that whenever we see a video of something like this, something inspirational or extraordinary or moving, that we have become conditioned to expect it to be fake.
It’s sad to read some of the genuine comments from people energised and uplifted by the story of Jarno Smeets; a 31-year-old Dutch man who followed his dream to fly like a bird.
Because the euphoric video where this dream appears to be fulfilled has the overpowering stench of a viral marketing campaign. In a digital age where seeing is no longer believing, it’s hard to prove or disprove the footage itself.
But what can be shown is that the back story presented by Jarno Smeets is a complete fabrication. His various social media profiles refer to him as being a former mechanical engineering student at Coventry University. He then went to work at a local company called Pailton Steering Systems, before moving to Holland to join Philips Design.
Nobody from any of these organisations has any record of Jarno Smeets.
Nanda Huizing, head of communications at Philips Design, said: “We really don’t have a clue who this person is. We have checked and double checked but there’s nobody called Jarno Smeets who has ever worked here.
“This is a matter we will be looking into to try and find out why these false claims have been made, but from what we understand, he doesn’t suggest his flying video is connected to Philips.”
Pailton Steering Systems in Coventry were similarly bemused. A spokesman said: “We’ve checked back and he’s never worked here. We’ve even put in some checks with our Dutch office and there’s nothing at all.”
When you look at the blog posts and various social media profiles you see evidence of a carefully constructed narrative and few signs of genuine lives being lived. Everything is too neat. Too cute.
Like the heartwarming story of Jarno taking his inspiration from some dusty plans he finds in his attic; long-lost designs for a flying-machine drawn-up by his grandfather. The fact that his dutiful assistant is a photogenic student who appears to be studying dreams – but not at any particular university.
There is also the fact that the majority of Jarno Smeets’ profiles were set-up on July 4, 2011 with little sign of his existence on the Internet before that date.
It’s obvious that a fair amount of time and money has gone into creating this story, something which suggests it’s connected to a corporation rather than being the hoax of an individual.
And the pernicious nature of viral marketing means that just by identifying this as fake, is helping to achieve its objective.
It’s 1984 and computer magic is exploding throughout Britain.
The Spectrum 48k wasn’t just a toy for playing daft video games. No, this was an opportunity to redefine the way we lived our lives.
And it was visionaries like beardie ‘freelance chef’, Ian M Hoare, who were pushing the boundaries. He could see the amazing potential of putting a Spectrum 48k into the kitchen.
The implications were literally mind-blowing. What if you could create an ‘electronic cookbook’?
What if, instead of taking a recipe book into the kitchen, you could lug in a massive telly, computer and tape recorder?
What if, instead of flicking through a few pages, you could wait 20 minutes to load up a buggy database which you would navigate using a baffling and buggy menu system?
What if, instead of hundreds of recipes, you could only store 60 because of the computer’s tiny memory?
These were the thoughts pulsing through the synapses of Ian M Hoare’s brain. If this could be done – it would transform cooking forever. This was the dream which inspired him to create the Computer Cookbook.
But like many of the world’s great visionaries, Ian M Hoare was ahead of his time. The public whinged and whined – they said he was an idiot. They said there was absolutely fuck-all point in having a computer cookbook.
They weren’t prepared to face the challenges of steamed-up monitors and fat-smeared keyboards. They weren’t prepared to wait 20 minutes for the privilege of finding a recipe for Pheasant Normande. They weren’t in the slightest bit interested in knowing that Nebbiolo is the correct wine to have with a steak and kidney pie.
So the kids carried on dicking around with their Spectrum games, and the parents carried on using those dusty old recipe books; and Ian M Hoare disappeared. It would be another 24 years before his vision would finally become a reality.
The year is 2008 now, and the world was finally ready. It took the form of a DS game called What’s Cooking? with Jamie Oliver. A copy of which is now a staple part of every good kitchen.
COOKERY FACTS
A man called Ian Hoare was recently posting vaguely racist things about Indian contestants on MasterChef.
The world record for eating the most Ferrero Rocher in a minute is seven and held by a Danish bloke.
Sixties celebrity chef Fanny Craddock once delicately observed that: “Only a slut gets in a mess in the kitchen.”
He is a genius; one of the greatest and most influential artists of our time.
And we know all this because a small cabal of Bowie-philes keep telling us it. These are the forty-somethings who control much of our media. Jonathan Ross and Ricky Gervais are the public face of this shadowy élite, but beneath the surface lies a vast network of Bowie obsessives: producers, authors, presenters, editors, journalists.
They commission each other to write articles and make TV documentaries in which they simper and fawn about their horse-toothed idol. Back in the 1970’s these people were the weird and delicate children who nobody talked to in the playground. So they sought solace in the spindly arms of a ginger-haired clown called Ziggy Stardust.
Ziggy played guitar. He played it left-handed. He looked a bit like Cilla Black. It was a winning combination.
The weird kids had found a friend; a goofy buddy from outer-space. He told them it was okay to be pretentious, po-faced and slightly aloof. It was alright to dabble with make-up, prance around with mime and pretend to be on drugs.
Bowie became an idol for these teenage geeks. Their creepy obsession helped to catapult him from a novelty pop singer to a mainstream star. They slavishly followed his ever-changing costumes and idiotic personas. They bought his tinny music and searched for profound meaning within his meaningless lyrics.
It is the obsessive and needy nature of these Bowie cultists, which makes them so dangerous and deluded – even after all these years. They retain a blinkered devotion to the Thin White Duke which renders them incapable of logic or reason; unable to grasp the concept that Bowie might actually have been a bit shit. Or at least, massively overrated.
Because if you weren’t a child of the 70′s, and don’t have the benefit of looking back through the distorted lens of nostalgia; then you see a very different David Bowie. You see an odd-looking man who, in a 40-year recording career, manged to make five-or-six decent songs. A man whose most memorable stage performance in recent years has been to get hit in the eye by a lollipop.
Bowie has always been about style over substance. His first job was in advertising; he realised early doors that to market himself he needed a gimmick. Releasing a novelty song about a laughing gnome didn’t work, but dressing as a transvestite Ronald McDonald proved to be just the ticket.
In doing so, he provided the inspiration for the likes of Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Lady Gaga and a multitude of other average performers who understood the commercial benefits of dressing like a mentalist.
It is bizarre that Bowie is still cited as a fashion icon, usually by balding old football casuals. Because when you look back at his different looks over the years, it is remarkable how he always managed to maintain the appearance of an absolute pillock. Leotards, kimonos, eye-patches, bouffant haircuts, white knee-length-boots; usually all worn at the same time.
And behind Bowie’s costumes and zany characters; there was a void. There was nothing there. It was all just an act; a series of fictional characters. No underlying message or genuine emotion. Just a pompous theatrical performance.
The interviews with Bowie, especially those during the 1970’s, are excruciatingly dull. They pull back the curtain to reveal the dreary middle-class bloke who hides behind the wacky stage persona – a man called David Jones. But if you close your eyes while listening, it could easily be David Brent.
Here are a few of Bowie’s memorable zingers from over the years:
“I’m pretty good with collaborative thinking. I work well with other people.”
“It amazes me sometimes that even intelligent people will analyze a situation or make a judgement after only recognising the standard or traditional structure of a piece.”
“I believe that I often bring out the best in somebody’s talents.”
But Bowie can let his music do the talking. He has, after all, recorded more than 550 songs over a wafer-thin career. The problem is that, despite a purple patch in the mid-70’s, they just aren’t that good. It’s all subjective, but it’s really hard to justify his status as a musical legend.
You can’t compare his musical output to the likes of McCartney, Reed or Marley.
I have tried to like Bowie. I have read/watched/heard so many gushing tributes to his elf-like genius over the years. But they seem to be talking about a different artist entirely. The one I see is that embarrassing bloke and his cringe-worthy posturing alongside Mick Jagger in the Dancing in the Street video.
He’s the same bloke who released those syrupy hits, like China Girl and Let’s Dance. For me, he represents all that was rubbish about music in the 1980′s: Bowie’s affected vocal warbling and the tinny sounding buzz of over-produced saxophones and synths.
And if Bowie wasn’t releasing crap singles in the 80′s; he was inspiring them. The whole of the decade was tainted by the eye-liner wearing groups who had been influenced by the Bowie brand of style over substance; the likes of Japan, Kajagoogoo and Duran Duran.
But none of this matters. David Bowie is a legend. He is a genius. He changed music for ever. He invented punk. He invented the kettle. He inspired everyone who was born AB(After Bowie). He is the power and the glory. Amen.
It’s great to have something to laugh at during these times of financial doom and gloom. And there’s been no better provider of the chuckles recently than the death of North Korea’s comedy dictator, Kim Jong-Il.
Not since Rod Hull fell off his roof has the demise of a famous person caused so much general merriment. Newspapers, blogs and Tweets have all served-up a regular feast of funnies about the deranged world of this terrible little tyrant.
His taste for roast donkey
His obsession with slasher movies
His lust for teenage girls
And not forgetting his deluded claim to be the world’s greatest golfer, having racked up 11 hole-in-ones in a single round.
These were just some of the Kim Jong-Il nuggets thrown our way by the likes of the Guardian, BBC, Telegraph, Independent, CNN and New York Times. These crazy ‘facts’ have been remixed and regurgitated to create a blizzard of forum posts and Top 10 lists.
It has been an absolute hoot. The bloke was obviously a complete and utter mentalist; it’s scary to think that he could ever get his hands on nuclear weapons.
The only problem with all this is – well, it’s bollocks.
Our view of Kim Jong-Il is based on a cocktail of half-truths, urban myths and absurd exaggerations. Here are some examples:
CRAZY FACT: He claimed to be the world’s greatest golfer In 1994 the North Korean propaganda machine reported that Kim Jong-Il had racked up 11 hole-in-ones during his first ever attempt at playing golf. His 38 under-par round at the Pyongyang Golf Course was verified by his 17 bodyguards.
Evidence? It’s a great story, but there is no record of either the North Korean media or Kim Jong-Il ever making this claim. The origins of this ‘fact’ are from an International Herald Tribune article. It was an off-the-cuff comment made by a groundsman at the golf course during a chat to an American journalist called Eric Ellis.
CRAZY FACT: He was the world’s biggest Cognac guzzler Kim Jong-Il was a notorious boozer and the biggest single purchaser of cognac in the world. His favourite tipple was a brand called Hennessey. The drink makers confirm that during the 1990’s the North Korean leader spent an annual budget of $700,000 on bottles of their liquor.
Evidence? There is no evidence of Hennessey ever having confirmed these figures. The story first emerged in a 1994 Wall Street Journal article and the claim is made by a South Korean propagandist who cited only a ‘diplomatic source’.
CRAZY FACT: He kidnapped a movie director to make a Godzilla film In 1978 a famous South Korean film director called Shin Sang-ok was kidnapped by North Korean secret agents. He was imprisoned in a Pyongyang jail and forced to make Godzilla style propaganda movies for Kim Jong-Il.
Evidence? This is highly dubious. Shin Sang-ok initially said he had defected to North Korea, only later claiming to have been kidnapped. In the period before his relocation, he had found himself in dispute with the South Korean government, who had revoked his licence to make films. He was facing spiralling financial problems and a messy divorce. He did make a Godzilla clone though.
When you examine these ‘facts’, you find that they are rumours, exaggerations and myths. It’s the equivalent of reporting that Barack Obama was born in Kenya, eats dogs and is a notorious crack addict. But our media is happy to repeat these stories – because North Korea is our enemy.
It has helped create a powerful image of Kim Jong-Il as the archetypal evil dictator. He is the creepy puppet who appeared in Team America. A man, obsessed with nuclear weapons; who guzzled cognac and ogled teenage girls while North Koreans lay starving in the fields.
The Subtle Art of Psyops
In many ways, we in the West are more susceptible to propaganda than the weeping and wailing North Koreans we mock. At least they know what they’re getting. They know that when they switch on a TV or read a newspaper, they are receiving information which has been filtered through the state.
We have absolutely no idea. We are exposed to a form of ‘grey propaganda’ which exists in the ether. We sense it’s there, but don’t know where it is, or what form it takes. In America, the technique of influencing public perceptions in this way is known as Psychological Operations, or psyops.
PSYOP expert: Jerrold M Post
And one of the CIA’s main experts in the field of psyops is a man called Jerrold M Post. He has many different titles, most impressive being: Founder of the CIA’s Center for the Analysis of Personality and Political Behavior’.
Jerrold M Post’s name crops up time-and-time again when you start to search for the origins of the various ‘Kim Jong-Il is a nutter’ stories. With his academic hat on, Post has established himself as the go-to-guy for journalists wanting an insight into the personality of the North Korean leader.
His expertise comes from a psychological profile he compiled for the CIA, the results of which were published in a 2004 book called ‘Leaders and Their Followers in a Dangerous World’.
So when it comes to finding crazy and unsubstantiated facts about Kim Jong-Il, he literally wrote the book. He collects together disparate rumours, half-truths and exaggerations; sprinkles in a few academic references, and uses it as proof that Kim Jong-Il was indeed dangerous, bad and mad.
He talks about his cognac guzzling sessions, his obsession with Hollywood movies, the naked parties and ‘joy brigades’ full of teenage girls. He even hints that he killed his brother during a childhood argument. The main source for many of the more lurid stories is a Japanese sushi chef called Kenji Fujimoto.
He is a bizarre character who worked for Kim Jong-Il in the 90’s and has since made a lucrative career out of appearing on chat shows, wearing a bandanna and shades to protect his identity, and dutifully dishing out the dirt on Kim Jong-Il.
Given the inability of anyone to verify anything he says, and the financial incentives for him to talk; it’s hard to believe any of the florid tales about his alleged close friendship with the ‘Dear Leader’.
But these, and the rest of the half-baked stories, have been presented as fact by the authoritative Mr Post. He has repeated them constantly in the many interviews and articles he has provided the media over the years.
“Here’s a guy who is very concerned about his physical stature, among other things. He’s 5-foot-2 and wears four-inch lifts in his shoes.” CNN, 2003
“He’s not clinically crazy, but he is crazy like a fox and has some major insecurities that help explain the way he acts. He is a film fanatic with a video library containing more than 15,000 movies. His view of the world and how he should behave and how others will respond is doubtless shaped by these films.” The Sunday Telegraph, 2006
“He recruited attractive young girls of junior high school age to take part in joy brigades. And the joy brigades’ function was to help in relaxation to his senior officials.” CNN, 2005
“As his country was starving, with the average income of North Koreans being between $900 and $1,000 a year, he was spending, according to the Hennessy Fine Spirits Corporation, between $650,000 and $800,000 a year. Rather extraordinary.” ABC, 2006
So here we have a CIA official, a self-proclaimed expert in psyops, who for many years has been one of the main sources in the West for information about Kim Jong-Il. The stories he spreads are essentially, tittle-tattle – exaggerations and unsubstantiated rumours.
But they have successfully been embedded into the mainstream media and allowed to take on a life of their own – mutating and growing through the digital world. Jerrold M Post has already been providing news organisations with his psychological insights into the mind of Kim Jong-Il’s successor; his son Kim Jong-Un.
How long before we start to see the first ‘Top 10 Crazy Facts about Kim Jong-Un’?
It’s hard to imagine a mainstream game these days based on the politics of a scouse, gay, sado-masochistic musical collective.
This was the game released by Manchester developers Ocean Software on the back of the massive success of Liverpool supergroup, Frankie Goes To Hollywood. They were a strange bunch who managed to sell a brand of cheery politics and perversion to the nation’s kids and grannies.
And the game was fittingly odd. It was all set in a terraced street called Mundanesville and you played a doley who only become ‘real’ when he entered the Pleasuredome. Can you see where this is heading?
Yes, to get to the pleasuredome you had to pop pleasure pills. And to get pleasure pills you had to root around people’s houses and nick stuff. It a bit like Pac-Man meets Trainspotting.
Along the way you had various strange mini-games including one in which you shot at Maggie Thatcher, and another featuring Reagan and Gorbachev spitting at each other over a wall.
There was also a murder to solve and…well, it was just weird. It was hard to figure out what it was about or what you were supposed to do – but it was cool. It felt a bit more sophisticated than Horace Goes Skiiing.
The group’s publicist Paul Morley, the knobhead who now appears on Newsnight Review, was supposed to have come up with a lot of the ideas used in the game. And fair play to him, this was pretty subversive for a daft kid’s video game.
FRANKIE FACTOIDS
Holly Johnson worked on a building site in London for three months in 1980.
It took Radio 1 DJ, Mike Read, three months to figure out that the single ‘Relax’ was about masterbation.
Paul Morley features in the video for ABC’s The Look of Love, miming the words ‘what’s that?’
Flick around the nether regions of the TV channels and you’ll find him – he’ll usually be cackling, making weak sexual innuendos and trying to flog you a Star Wars themed duvet – or some such tat.
He looks like a middle-aged chipmunk. He sounds like one too – a shrill Mancunian motormouth. His name is Peter Simon and he’s the scariest man on television – he always has been.
Others may have had childhood nightmares about the likes of Freddy Kruger or Alien, but for me it was always Peter Simon.
If he wasn’t flogging stuff on shopping channels you could imagine him smashing doors down with an axe or screaming at people at Victoria bus station.
I’m sure a lot of his craziness is a well-honed act, something he used to set himself apart from the many other Paul Ross wannabes – but it’s certainly effective. I genuinely think he is nuts.
It’s an act which he developed while presenting a kid’s TV show in the 80′s called Double Dare; this was shown in segments during Going Live.
The main feature of this baffling quiz show was a gunge filled obstacle course finale and Peter Simon’s weekly routine of ‘accidentally’ slipping over in it. He would thrash around on the floor, covering himself in gunge, as the child contestants watched on nervously.
It was like watching an episode of Casualty. You knew he was going to do it, it was inevitable. It was just a question of when and how.
As the show reached its conclusion he would become increasingly manic and desperate in his attempts to fall flat on his arse. If sliding through gunge in slip-on shoes didn’t do the trick then he would just take an outrageous Premiership style dive – usually taking a couple of kids down with him.
It was sad to see a man reduced to this.
The game? Oh right. The Spectrum game had a cover which featured a suitably bug-eyed photo of Uncle Peter, but unfortunately he didn’t feature much in the game at all.
It was just loads of dull trivia questions about Simple Minds, followed by a ropey platform section which was supposed to represent the obstacle course. No gunge. And no Scalextric prize if you won. Crap.
DOUBLE DARE FACTOIDS:
That bloke Paul, who got off with the Welsh “I like blinking, I do” girl on Big Brother II, is a former Double Dare contestant. FACT!!!
Peter Simon released a single called Simon Says- unfortunately Simon didn’t say to buy his record. So they didn’t.
Double Dare was eventually replaced on Going Live by a thing called Clockwise which was presented by another monster – Darren Day.
Most people think that holidays are all about drinking cocktails, dive-bombing into swimming pools and generally having a great time. WRONG!!!
Holidays are about survival. A good holiday is one where you manage to make it back home without having been mugged, conned or murdered.
The most effective way to achieve this is to NEVER go on holiday – prevention is the best cure. The second best way is to HIDE in your hotel room and avoid all forms of human interaction.
But if you are one of these gung-ho idiots who insist on wandering around foreign places, then you need to study this guide. And you need to study it good.
This is a list of the sneakiest and most weasliest holiday scams that are out there. These are genuine scams which are being used every day of the year to rattle money off nice folk like you.
So hold on to your wallets, kids – we’re going in!
10. The Bird Crap Scam
Most holiday scams involve tourists being crapped on in some way but this one takes things literally. You will be walking along when you feel something splatter onto your back. A passer-by sees what’s happened and points at the horrible globule of bird poo on your coat.
Thankfully this kind soul has some tissues and a bottle of water which they use to wipe away the foul smelling white goo. You thank them as they walk off, thinking just how brilliant humans can be sometimes – that is, until you check your pockets and find your wallet and mobile phone has been nabbed.
The way this works is that an accomplice uses a syringe to squirt the fake ‘bird poo’ substance onto your back while the scammer uses the close-contact of the clean-up operation to pickpocket valuables. The same kind of con is done using various types of nasty globby substances: tomato sauce, mustard, oil, dirty water etc.
9. The Scratch Card Scam
You are approached by a respectable looking person who hands you a free scratchcard and the chance to win a luxury holiday. Yeah, like that’s really going to happen.
Scratch. Scratch. Scratch. Wahoo! You’ve only gone and won. And to claim the luxury holiday you just need to attend a presentation which is being held in the resort. This is when your scam detector should start rattling off the wall because there are dozens of other ‘winners’ who turn up at the presentation. In fact, everybody who has been handed a scratchcard has also ‘won’.
And your prize isn’t a luxury holiday; it is to spend the next five hours being battered with high-pressure sales techniques by a bunch of rat-faced dickheads in cheap suits who try to make you buy into a worthless ‘holiday club’.
8. The Bogus Taxi Scam
Your flight lands, you grab your luggage and find yourself stood in the airport concourse. You’re now officially ‘on your hols’.
But you’re tired and frazzled and just want to get to your hotel. At that very moment a friendly man glides into view with a trolley for your luggage and the offer of a nearby taxi. Champion!
And the next thing you know your face is on the front page of the local newspaper alongside the story of how you were robbed and brutally murdered by the driver of an illegal taxi – which is a shame.
Okay, so that’s the worst case scenario; but using an illegal cab is a tried and tested way of getting ripped-off: extortionate fares, theft of luggage etc. You’re much better sticking to the official taxi ranks.
7. The Gold Ring Scam
We can thank our Parisian friends for this beauty. You see a person bend down to pick something up. They turn to you holding a shiny golden ring and ask if you have dropped it.
The way this scam plays out depends on how you answer. If you are greedy, you may pretend it is yours and the scammer will return it – for a small finder’s fee. If you are honest, they will be give you some heart tugging story about why they want you to have it – in return for a small payment.
Whichever way this goes, the end result is the same. You get a worthless brass ring. The scammer gets some of your money.
6. The Airport Scanner Scam
You’re queuing to go through the metal detector at the airport. You’ve put your valuables into the black plastic dish and sent it trundling towards the X-ray machine.
The man in front of you passes through the detector, the alarm goes off. He then takes ages faffing around, checking and double-checking his pockets, until he eventually finds a coin – bloody idiot. You follow him through and collect your tray on the other side but… your valuables are gone.
The bumbling Mr Bean act is used by the conman to buy time for his accomplice on the other side to nick your stuff and disappear. This scam is a particular problem in airports, like those in America, where people are allowed in and out of the departures area.
5. The Holiday Rep Scam
You’re on a day trip as part of a package holiday and your rep offers to show you some of the best places to shop. These are the resort’s best kept secrets where you will find genuine bargains, they say.
So you are herded into a shop with the comfort of knowing that the coconut carved into a gorilla which you have just bought is a brilliant bargain. As you are hurried back onto the coach you don’t notice that the shelves of most shops are heaving with coconut gorillas – and at much cheaper prices.
The tour guide’s recommendations are not based on local knowledge but on the amount of commission they receive from the shop owner to bring gullible tourists into their lair. Just remember – holiday reps are evil.
4. The Hotel Reception Scam
It is way too early in the morning and you are woken by a call from hotel reception. They are having a problem processing a payment and need to verify your credit card details. In a bleary-eyed haze you mumble out the numbers before rolling over and returning to the arms of sleepy land.
But for the scammer, who you have just given your details to, there is a busy day ahead as they try to use your card to rack-up payments which will dwarf Greek national debt.
3. The Nibbles Scam
You spot a nice restaurant and go through the usual holiday menu checklist. Ridiculously cheap? Check. Photographs of food? Check. Chips? Check.
So with all boxes ticked you grab a table and find yourselves warmly greeted by a waiter who slips a basket of bread things in front of you. Complementary nibbles – nice.
You start casually picking away at the bread while deciding what to have with your chips – and you, my friend, have just been poked with the scam stick. Because when you pay the bill you will find that those nibbles weren’t free and actually cost some money.
Okay, so this isn’t the most heinous of scams in the grand scheme of things…but it’s still a bit annoying.
2. Hire Car Scam
It’s the end of your hols. Your flight home is in the early hours so you leave the hire car outside the company’s car park and drop the keys into a box. You have been driving it in the style of an elderly vicar with piles to ensure there is absolutely no damage. So what could possibly go wrong?
A couple of weeks later, while watching your suntan disappear, your credit card bill arrives and shows a payment to the hire car company for ‘damages’ – usually a dink or scratch. If you complain about this payment you are likely to get it reduced but the amount of hassle involved means most people just accept this fictional damage.
Best way to guard against this is to get the car checked when you drop it off and also take photographs of it before and after use.
1. The Compensation Scam
You are making your way through a crowd and brush past somebody who acts like a Premiership striker in search of a free kick. They stagger back dramatically with their sunglasses being knocked to the ground.
They pick them up and start shouting and gesticulating as they show you a nasty crack on the lens. You shrug your shoulders but it only makes things worse as they become more hysterical and start demanding compensation for the damage.
As more people are drawn to this piece of street theatre you realise you have been cast in the role of baddie. You just want it to end so hand over a few notes. The sunglasses were, of course, already broken before they hit the ground. The same scam is done with various objects being dropped and hysterical requests for compensation.
Nintendo has been slammed for promoting the use of a virtual pet game as a way to train kids about owning a real animal.
The Japanese games company has teamed up with the Dog’s Trust charity for a TV advertising campaign which promotes the pet simulation called Nintendogs + Cats.
The game allows the player to keep a virtual puppy or kitten which they can groom, take for walks and train to carry out tricks.
The TV advert features members of girl group, The Saturdays, surrounded by puppies while playing on copies of the Nintendo 3DS title.
Singer Mollie King, 24, is shown saying: “I’d definitely recommend somebody who’s thinking of getting a dog to start off with Nintendogs + Cats because it shows you how much responsibility they are.
“You have to feed them, you have to give them water, take them for walks; you know, there’s loads of responsibility.”
But dog trainer Victoria Stilwell, presenter of Channel 4 show It’s Me Or The Dog, believes it is irresponsible to give the impression that keeping a virtual pet is anything like owning a real dog.
She said: “I have a seven-year-old daughter and she plays a similar kind of game on the iPhone and, of course, the puppy has big wide eyes and is really cute.
“You play games with the dog and you can feed it and it’s all really fun, but to translate this into real life? To present this as some come kind of educational tool? No – that’s just really misleading.
“Try getting a kid who plays these games up at 6am in the morning to take their puppy out. Try getting them up in the middle of the night to let their puppy out to pee.
“Get them to deal with what it’s like when a dog starts to bark or become aggressive towards people. Get them to understand how long it actually takes to socialise a dog.
“That’s the reality of owning a dog and it’s not something any child is going to learn from playing a game like this. Dog ownership can be incredibly rewarding but it also carries responsibilities – it’s not just sitting on your butt and playing a video game.
“I think Nintendo may have had the best of intentions but they are also trying to sell their product and the message this sends out is misleading. I just hope that parents have the good sense to see it for what it is – a video game which you can sit on your sofa and play.”
The advert is part of a wider ‘A dog is not a toy’ campaign in which Dogs Trust education officers intend to visit schools with copies of the game to help teach children about the responsibilities of dog ownership.
Nintendo deny that the adverts are misleading and say the partnership with the Dog’s Trust is intended to give children more information about what it takes to own an animal.
A spokesperson said: “ We believe that if Nintendogs + Cats can help just a handful of kids to stop and think about what is involved before buying a dog, then this initiative will have been a success.”
But the advert has also drawn complaints from television viewers who have started a Facebook protest page along with a complaint being lodged with the Advertising Standards Agency.
One viewer who left a message on the Facebook page states: “The intentions are good but the way the ad has been made does not highlight the ‘dog is not a toy’ message.
“Surely they can see the irony in trying to stop kids thinking of dogs as toys by using a computer game. A game is incomparable to the real implications of owning a dog and to promote it as such is misleading.”
The first Nintendogs game was released in 2005 for the Nintendo DS and by 2009 the franchise had racked up worldwide sales of 21 million, making it the company’s best-selling game for that system.
Nanda Huizing, head of communications at Philips Design, said: “We really don’t have a clue who this person is. We have checked and double checked but there’s nobody called Jarno Smeets who has ever worked here.
